so not everyone likes you

It's comforting to believe that every move you make is one that will be met with approval. But since that's not reality, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

so not everyone likes you

We polled our readers about being well-liked and the consensus was that even though it can be super uncomfortable, it's kind of OK if not everyone likes you.

Here's why:

1. Pretending is the worst

You can watch your language and eat less pizza, go on obligatory hikes, and even watch shows you absolutely hate, but ultimately, you'll make yourself miserable if you are trying to make someone like you. You'll have to keep up with falsehoods and never get the chance to make a deep connection. Not to mention always being on edge. Someone's affections are not worth compromising your health and happiness.

2. We need to love ourselves more

Throughout our lives, it is our responsibility to learn to love ourselves. Oprah says, "If you're holding anyone else accountable for your happiness, then you're wasting your time," and though that can be a gut check, the words are true. Holding out for approval or molding ourselves into someone likable takes away a lot of our power. Instead, invest time in yourself. Learn what brings you joy and make it happen.

3. Negativity can be motivating

We've all worked super hard on something, proudly sent it off, and then encountered negative feedback. Because, hello, not everyone likes us. Ahem. What we decide to do with that energy is our choice alone. We can let it shut us down—convince ourselves that continuing isn't worth it—or we can allow ourselves one night of ice cream with the promise of getting back on the horse in the morning. Maybe we can use the harsh words as motivation. Is there room for improvement? Can I learn something here? If not, give yourself a high five and eat some Lucky Charms. But if so, use it. Make the change and be that much better.

4. Happiness is more valuable than being stretched thin

Are you proud of what you've done? Do you tell jokes because you think they are funny? Step in to lead when the job needs done? Go out on your own if there's something you really want to do? The time spent enjoying what you're doing is so much more valuable than pushing yourself to do things others will like. You deserve self-preservation, and if that means you're eating artichoke dip and watching Lifetime movies alone on Sunday, then so be it. Moments where you are truly happy are more valuable than any where you're in limbo. 

5. Love is better than like

I bet if we asked, you'd rather have a few people who love you instead of a hundred people who tolerate you. Whether in business, morals, education, or friendship, you have to do what feels like the honest right thing for you. People may not like it. Blow them a kiss as they go because what you want, and what you deserve, is people who love you hard. You deserve clients who appreciate your unique strengths, a partner who loves you in spite of your quirks, and friends who like the same weird movies that you do. Hold out for the people who cherish your uniqueness, and don't be afraid to say goodbye to those who don't.


So sure, it's nice to feel liked. It's comforting to believe that every move you make is one that will be met with approval. But since that's not reality, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Not everyone will applaud when we walk out the door. But we're the ones in charge here, right? Right. 

Our happiness is in our hands.

show me more