bad day go-tos
We've all been there. We all have bad days. Today we are sharing how you'll find us surviving those inevitable, bad, freaking days.
It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, bad days are universal.
You spill coffee down your favorite shirt, open your inbox to find nothing but carnage, miss a deadline, yell at the internet company (again), and the only place you can find solace is in a bag of gummy bears.
We get it, girl, and today we are sharing how you'll find us surviving those inevitable, bad, freaking days.
Who's in my earbuds?
RACH: If I'm stressed and need to chill, Kenny G. Don't judge me. It calms me right down. If I am mad and need to change my mood, Montell Jordan radio. Nothing like a little This is How We Do It to change things around. And if I need to do some rage cleaning, I put on my Baby Baby station so I can jam out to Madonna, Amy Grant, and Whitney Houston.
SARA: If I'm trying to power through some work on the computer then I have a classical music Pandora station on; it keeps me focused and isn't distracting. But if I'm on a cleaning rampage, it's a toss-up—Britney Spears, Nicki Minaj, and the Wicked soundtrack are all on my 'Top 25 Most Played' playlists.
JESS: The Awesome With Alison podcast. Alison and Eric somehow manage to bring me to tears and make me laugh uncontrollably every freaking episode. Highly recommended, you guys.
Literally any 90s throwback jams.
I've been all about K.Flay lately. She is perfect for sweating it out when you're certain your head's about to explode.
What's on my plate?
RACH: Roast beef and mashed potatoes, carne asada, pizza. Usually not at the same time but I'm not opposed. Also cake.
SARA: Crap. All crap. I cannot seem to find a balance between busy and healthy. It is something I'm definitely working on. I need to find a way to be busy and not eat Whataburger twice a day. Oh and also, wine. A lot of wine.
JESS: Gummy bears. Red wine. Guacamole.
Where can you find me?
RACH: Likely in the corner of the sectional fuming and staring at my phone. Which is 100% unhelpful. I need to use what I know and do something good for myself. I've been trying YouTube yoga, and going for walks in the cold when I really need to work something out. Another thing that helps is to snuggle a baby or three. It grounds me.
SARA: I wish I could say at the gym, but that is only true like 17% of the time. The other 83% of the time, in bed—in whatever outfit I faked wearing for the day at daycare drop-off. Just sitting in bed, fully (ish) dressed, thinking about everything I need to be doing. It's not cute.
JESS: The gym is my favorite way to work through the crud, but it's not always where I end up. It's easy to get caught up in scheduling and decide not to take the time to walk away from whatever I'm fighting to reset. It always, always makes me feel better, but you guys, I'm human. I am definitely not making it to the gym every time I have a bad day!
Planes, trains, and automobiles! Another favorite way to clear my head is travel. I believe a change of scenery can help put things in perspective and recharge our bodies and minds. I often refer to road trips as therapeutic (because I really mean it!) and there's just something about that feeling in your gut when you fly into a new city full of opportunities for experience outside your day-to-day grind.
Who gets the call?
RACH: If I've got my angry eyes on, definitely my friend Emily. I can unload anything and I know she won't think I'm crazy. Super sad? Husband. Big crazy idea to work around the issue: Sara and Jess.
SARA: My mom. My poor mom. And then, Rach and Jess get all the crap that my mom can't handle or just doesn't get. I’m a lot.
JESS: You can count on me blowing up WhatsApp with those two ladies above me for sure.
What's my mantra?
RACH: I can do hard things.
I remind myself that though it's hard to sit through something awful, I, in fact, CAN do that. The world isn't going to end. I'm not going to lose what's most important to me. I can get through this one thing.
SARA: "Oh, I can't think about this now! I'll go crazy if I do! I'll think about it tomorrow."
And then when I get over my Scarlett O'Hara moment...
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
This is my mom's go-to line when I’m freaking the freak out and she says it was her mom's go-to line as well.
JESS: Everything is temporary.
Whether it's a time of stress or grief, it is only a season. Nothing lasts forever. In the moments where it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel burnt out, I find myself clinging to this idea.
Work is chaotic, scheduling is a mess, and you can't find the time to wash your hair, let alone make it to brunch with your besties. It's only temporary. It is a season of chaos, but it will not last forever.
You’re heartbroken, grief-stricken, lonely, and lost. You will find your way out of it. Because it's only temporary.
How do I reset for a better tomorrow?
RACH: Generally, I have to just walk away.
If I'm super frustrated or upset, it doesn't do me any good to keep staring at it after a certain point. If I've got a headache, I know it's time to pull the plug and start fresh later. Almost every time if I take some space away from the problem, I think of a way to either solve it or get over it.
My dad gave me some great advice when Henry got sick: He said, "Yes, this is bad. And it's not what we thought and it's not what we wanted and it is going to be hard to live with this hanging over his head. But. He will get through it. We're going to have to do a hard thing but it's going to end up leading to a good thing. And we'll have time after that for lots and lots of good stuff. This isn't the end of things. It's just a hard thing. We have to focus on where we're going to end up."
So that's what I try to do, guys. It's definitely not always easy. But we're working on it.
SARA: Go. To. Bed. Seriously—and early.
Plan out a realistic to-do list for the next day. Really prioritize what HAS to get done—and put the other things in the parking lot.
Make sure I know what is for dinner the next day. Check the freezer. TAKE THE FREAKING MEAT OUT OF THE FREEZER. Text my husband to pick up any missing items on his way home. (READ: Avoid getting Whataburger, at all costs.)
Take a shower. Because chances are my hair is 95% dry shampoo at this point.
JESS: This is tough for me. I try my hardest to go to bed with the belief that tomorrow is an opportunity to start over, but life doesn't always work out that way. A few rules I set for myself when things start to crumble are:
- Turn it off. At the end of the work-day, just turn it off. It will all be there waiting for you in the morning, and staying up until 2 AM working from bed will likely result in a bunch of half-hearted, error-ridden work that you have to spend the morning fixing anyway.
- Make a to-do list with only two major priorities for the next day. Don't set yourself up for failure.
- Get some freaking sleep.
- Eat a good meal. Drink some wine. Laugh about literally anything with your girlfriends. (Around here we are pretty fond of baby animal photos and reminiscing about the days of blue mascara.)